30th may, sunday

today I did alot of thinking. I was thinking, am I ready for a relationship and have I found the right person? was I ready to commit myself into a relationship, and love that person wholeheartedly? the question still lies in my heart, unanswered. I dont know if I'm doing the right thing here.

I know, when joshua was troubled I was there for him. but I dont know if I can be there for him for eternity. do I see a future with him? after friday I realised that we really had a problem with communication. in which, we dont. I guess its just me.

dont think I'm cut out for relationships. its like, many people I know who are in relationships now can handle them perfectly. while me, like, um, 3 failed relationships? I'm not looking forward to increasing that number.

and joshua like everytime I talk to him on msn he would go "zzz". I mean, what is that? he acts like talking to me isn't his first choice ever. and his nick?? its "study hard my bitches get A1 for chinese". I was going "wha...?!" okay thats it man. I cant live with this person. who has horribly shown his true self in a matter of weeks. thats it man. game over.